Eat, Love, Pray; or Why It's Awesome to be a Rich White Woman

Eat, Love, Pray was surprising in that I did not hate it as much as I hated other similar movies like Into the Wild. Nonetheless, it was a story that has always bothered me: that of a white person, coming from a wealthy background, who needs to "find" him or her self. This usually entails said white person leaving behind all the worldly possessions so that he or she can co-opt another culture's less materialistic values. In the case of Into the Wild, I was so fed up with the main character, in this case, a well-to-do white man, that actually welcomed his horrific end as a sign that God does exist.

[Note: there are some parts of the plot that are revealed in the below review. If you want to see the movie, avoid reading this next part.]

Elizabeth Gilbert's movie (and I assume memoir) was a little different. It's possible that the movie did not capture the complexities of her life well, and that her problems may have been sincere, but it seemed as if her worst problems were being loved to much and having too much free time. The movie opens with her celebrating the success of her recent novel and her loving, attentive husband talking about how he helped and how good it was. On the ride home, her boyfriend talks about the possibility of going back to school. Granted, at his age, he should probably have decided what he wanted to do, and switching to yet another career path may not have been the most responsible choice in life. It hardly seems like a deal-breaker. Later that same night (supposedly), Gilbert and her husband talk about going to Aruba, Gilbert's next travel location for her job as a travel journalist. There, the two would be able to experience all that Aruba had to offer on the newspaper's dime. Her husband, for some strange reason, opts out of this paid vacation to paradise. That said, Gilbert decides she doesn't want to be married anymore. After getting a divorce from a man that, when pressured, chooses Gilbert as his sole dream in life, she falls into the arms of a young actor (who happens to be starring in her off-Broadway play). The two fall madly in love, and she is showered with the affection of this younger man. Again, though, as this new love interest opens his life to her, taking her on spiritual adventures and loving her with all his might, she finds that she, "doesn't know how to be [with him]."

This was very surprising. By all indications, Gilbert was experiencing success: she had a killer job, her book was best-selling, she was surrounded by friends who cared very much for her, and her husband and boyfriend unflinchingly loved her. Why, then, I wondered as she moaned about her life, eating delicious foods in her enormous apartment, did she want to leave it all to spend a year in Italy, India and Bali?

Here is problem 1: this solution to her problems is only available to her because of her wealth. Had she been a standard working class schmo, she would not have had the money or employment freedom to just pack up and leave for an entire year to jaunt about the globe. She rented an entire house (it seemed) in both Italy and Bali, and though it was indicated that she was living below her usual standard of luxury, she was hardly living a difficult life. In tropical Bali, her two room hut was located near the beach, and didn't need walls. She ate out every night with friends, took day trips from time to time, and despite the force labor of the Ashram she stayed at in India, she did not exchange services for any of the good she purchased. I can't imagine how much such a trip would cost, but cheap is not what comes to mind. She didn't keep all her belongings on her while sleeping in 20 plus bed hostel rooms. She didn't take up a job waiting tables, sharing a one room hovel with six other immigrants. She spent an entire year relaxing: eating delicious foods, experiencing intense spiritual enlightenment, and learning to be happy. Without the money she had, the job she had, or the friends she had, she could not have done any of it.

Which leads me to problem 2: It was because of her wealth that she developed the need to find herself. Working as a travel writer, spending time circling the globe, essentially paid to go on vacation every week: this gave her a lot of money and a copious amount of free time. Because of this, she had different things to think about in her downtime than most. If you have a hefty mortgage, lots of debt, a family or a job that does not make you happy, these things will occupy your thoughts. If you have more money than you need, few debts, a nice house and a fulfilling job, you tend to think more existentially. Less wealthy people don't have the time to "find" themselves; instead, less wealthy people spend their free time trying to overcome the constant stream of hurdles that come between the seldom taken vacations. Existentialist concerns, like learning to love oneself, are the spoils of the wealthy.

It seems to me that Gilbert would have been much happier if she was less successful in life. Had she more worries in her life than how to be loved by other people, she might have noticed how supporting not one, but TWO people had been in her life. She might have seen that she was working a really great job that gave her both the time and artistic freedom to pursue outside interests (like writing a best selling book and an off-Broadway play). She might have seen that she was living a really awesome life, and that she had nothing, NOTHING, to complain about.

Instead, though, the movie-watchers and book-readers are given her life as a cautionary tale. Remember reader and viewers, she seems to say, no matter how good it seems I have it, I am like you: rife with turmoil. Here is a woman who is courageous enough to stand up and say, enough. I am tired of leading a fulfilling life to which I am completely culpable. I will not wake up to the loving embrace of either a doting husband, or an attentive boyfriend. I will not spend time with adoring friends and co-workers. I will not get caught up in the rigmarole of the job everyone wishes they could have. Despite these hindrances, Gilbert shows us that even she can be happy. All she had to do was remove herself from this life that she made herself and realize that those with less than her (say, a near broke medicine man with no teeth, but a ever-present-smile) are really happy. It's true: the people with which she experienced life for a year were generally happy, but that was because their circumstance did not allow for the navel-gazing self-reflection that Gilbert's life allowed. The medicine man was not worried about how he could make his inner soul happy; he was worried about where the next meal was going to come from. Despite that very real problem, he managed to happy; and in this way, he was the real hero of the story.

If you listened closely, that was the message of Eat, Love, Pray, but you had to listen REALLY carefully (including blocking out all the toasts to her wonderfulness and the third, THIRD, man who fell unbelievably in love with Gilbert).

As I tried this rant out on Erika on the ride home from the theater, Erika said after a moment, "Isn't that why you went to Wales? To find yourself?" I was struck by that. It was, in fact, a reason I went to Wales. I was tired of my life in Illinois that, in retrospect, was pretty okay. I was finishing up a degree, I had lots of friends, and a very, large loving family. What was I running from? Of course, I am working during my three year vacation, and most of my time is spent trying to make different ends meet in a new place. Still, what might be most upsetting about this movie is not how much her problems irk me, but how much her story reflects my own.

Whatever, I thought to myself, I am still going to enjoy my trip to Norway next year. I need to learn how to make myself happy by touring the fjords.